Worried that you and your partner may be moving in together too soon? Below, relationship therapists share six signs that you need to press pause on your move-in plans. Sorry, couples of a mere three months: Will we eventually have kids and how will we raise them?
How involved will we allow our in-laws to be? We moved in together at about 14 months into our relationship so like two months ago. We started discussing it maybe 9 months in, but decided we wanted to hit the 1 year mark and take some serious time to discuss everything, from budgets to bills to bank accounts, to how much personal space we'd need, to what we'd do with my pets fencing in the backyard, animal proofing some of the more dangerous areas in the basement so they can't get into any chemicals , to renovation ideas moved into a house my SO intended to flip, but we love the neighbourhood so we're renovating it for ourselves now instead.
We talked about how we'd divide things up if we split up furniture and joint purchases, me knowing where I would go if I wanted to move out , and what we will do once common law status kicks in mostly in terms of work's healthcare benefits. And we also agreed that for us, this is a step towards marriage. Not right away, but heading in that direction, and have had a dialogue going about what marriage would mean to us as well personally, financially, etc.
Basically we're both over thinkers and we needed a bit of time to completely wrap our heads around the idea and what it would mean to us individually and as a couple. I'm glad we waited a few months before actually doing it, and spent those few months really planning everything out. It's been a couple of months now and I feel more at home with my boyfriend than I've ever felt anywhere else. We met online, lived in different cities, and decided we would give the LDR a shot. Then he got a really sweet job that meant he would get awesome money, but he would always be on call so visiting each other would be difficult.
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He asked me if I wanted to move to his city, and I did. It's been almost 4 years. I just had a feeling. It was the best decision I ever made. I have a very similar story. Its going great so far! I think youll never know until you try so just make sure you can each afford it on your own and then go for it!! There was a huge level of trust involved. I had enough money when I moved here to go back if I needed to, but I also trusted that he wouldn't leave me on a street somewhere if he got sick of me.
I'm not saying it wasn't a ton of work, I'm just saying sometimes it's worth it to take a risk. I'm going through a ldr similar situation. I'm still unsure about my decision because I thought we haven't been together that long, but this makes me feel better. Just make sure you really think about it. Time is less of a factor than trust and compatibility. If it feels like the right thing to do, then go. Always make sure you have a back up plan.
I'm realizing that time is becoming less of a factor and it's something I really want to do. We just need to talk it out and come up with a plan. Then somehow tell my family. The emphasis is always put on how long you've been dating before you do x or y, when really, it's about how healthy the relationship is. We have a lot of the same values, beliefs, and goals. We planned a lot and talked endlessly before I moved. I'm not saying it's easy or a better way to do it, just that it's not always true that you have to wait in order for things to work out.
It's all up to how much work you and your SO are willing to put in. My mom was really supportive. My father and brother did the whole "well, if you think it's a good idea," but were supportive after some time to adjust. But I know people who haven't been together that long and made it work just fine. There are a lot of factors to consider but if you feel like you'll be ready at that time I see no reason not to. Make sure you know the terms of your lease and keep in mind what to do in worst case scenario should you break up.
I recently moved in with my bf of a year and a half. I moved into his place for the summer, and he we have another roommate too. I think it's perfect for our relationship.
I'll be moving back out for the next school year because my other apartment is right next to the school. But I'll move back in permanently when I graduate. We were together for about a year when we decided to move in. After that it was about three months until our respective leases expired and then we got a new place together.
But when we were living seperately, we lived on the same street and probably spent 6 nights out of the week with each other. We effectively had free reign in each other's apartments. We were already doing some of each other's chores and making joint purchases.
Moving in together was just an obvious next step. We had been together for about 9 months before we moved in together. To be fair, we had sort of been living together since the very start of our relationship because we were both in the same student halls, shared a kitchen etc. The main difference was we would be living together by ourselves we both had roommates before. I think it was a good amount of time to wait.
How long were you dating before you moved in together?
I had a lot of doubts at the start of the relationship which dissipated by the time we had actually moved in together. I've never looked back, I love living with my SO and I can't imagine wanting to live with anyone else. I loved that we both got to share the experience of living as adults in the real world, with bills and all of that jazz. The best thing was that we were both really concerned for the other person, we both wanted to please each other, so living together was just a really lovely experience.
Like we used to treat each other all the time with nice things like cleaning the whole apartment or baking yummy goods. I slowly started staying over more and more. At about 4 months I was there 4 days a week. Occasionally I would go back to my place to pick up something I needed. We lived with his roommates at the time. We decided to move in together by ourselves 1 year in.
How long were you dating before you moved in together?
Its been 3 months so far and its awesome! About 6 months from when we met. I overanalyze and he's exceptionally laid back. We talked about nothing before moving in together. Have been living together for over 1.
About to move again to live with more people.