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I was like a little kid watching a TV commercial for a roller coaster at an amusement park. I had to know what that was like.

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The next weekend rolls around and I take crazy Becky out to see a movie, I leave Lejeune on Friday again and drive to her house. When I arrive she insists on my driving her mustang to try it out. This is where the shit hits the fan, this is how Crazy Becky earned her name, and this is a moment in my life I will fucking never forget.

The movie we ended up seeing was called "The Fourth Kind". It's this horror flick about alien abductions in Alaska and it was scary as fuck. I laughed right in her crazy ass face and said "Yea, ok! Her whole demeanor changes and she gets real fucking stern, real fucking fast. The movie is no longer the scariest thing happening in that room. The movie finally finishes after what seemed like an eternity and we leave. We get wayyyyyyy out into the middle of this enormous field and she stops the car, drops the top on this Mustang and climbs into my lap. We just fucking sat there, for two hours I will never get back.

This shit was ridiculous as fuck. We get back to her house and I leave for base and tell everyone I'm pulling the plug. During our conversations she started telling me shit you don't say in the first couple weeks of knowing someone. She told me that she was engaged to another Marine and they broke it off. That is a huge red flag for a Marine.

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It would be like if someone got their arm ripped off on a roller coaster and got back in line. I asked her why they broke up and she alleged that he tried to rape her and everything fell apart. I was really respectful but kind of wierded out with the aggressive manner she used to tell me that. It was almost like she was smothering me with protracted and graphic detail about the whole ordeal.

At some point during her waterboarding me with this story even I started poking holes in what she was saying. I asked her about a specific action she took and she gave me a really sketchy answer. She totally side stepped the rest of my questions after that and wrapped up the conversation with "Yea I pressed charges but the cops accused me of lying and began pressing charges against me for filing a false police report.

Luckily my lawyer got the charges dropped. So, Thanksgiving 96 rolls around and I'm driving back to my house in Upstate NY and this girl calls me and is like " Are you stopping by my house? She was trying to guilt trip me into taking her home with me so hard. I was like "no that's ok I'm obviously driving my own vehicle and we've been on the road for 5 hours" and then proceeded to nag the fuck out me to come see her for a painful amount of time.


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Eventually, she gives up and says "well at least call me when you get home. I had had enough at that point, she was fucking killing me with her clingy crazy shit. So, I decided to do the right thing and let her down easy by calling her back and breaking it off. Just kidding, I black balled her by shutting my phone off for the entire 96 four day vacation. So four days go by, four days of radio silence from Crazy Becky. My buddy Berny and I are on our way back to base and I spend the whole time explaining to him the entire ordeal and how I handled it.

We spent hours listening to the voicemails and reading the texts. Each message got progressively more hilarious and seemed to be going through the stages of grief.

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Denial "Why didn't you call me? I bet you'll call me, I know you'll call me". They went on and on and on like that and we laughed and laughed. But, soon the laughing stopped, crazy Becky would call me multiple times a day everyday for weeks. That whole time I never once returned a single message. Then one day things just died off and it stayed that way for a while, I thought I was good. My buddy didn't remember this bitch but she somehow stalked him through the interwebs and started talking to him. Does he have girlfriend? Is he talking to anyone? My buddy is a fucking downy and didn't pick up on it at all.

So we started fucking with her. Another week goes by and then she starts blowing up my phone saying she left a pair of pants in my room to muscle me into seeing her. Eventually she texts me "If you don't give me my pants back I'm calling the cops.

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I get a text one night and all it says "I got on base, I'm coming to your barracks, you're gonna talk to me. This bitch will have no fucking clue where I am! So, I'm peering around the corner of my new barracks and lo and behold a red mustang pulls into the parking lot of my old barracks. This bitch gets out and sees the old barracks are under construction and has a fucking meltdown. I assumed she was there to murder me so, I ran in my room, locked the door, shut my blinds, removed my name placard and sat in my bathroom with the lights off.

A few weeks later I was in Marjah Afghanistan, shivering my balls off, with incoming mortars and rockets blasting rocks over the top of my fighting hole. I literally had to fly to the other side of the planet and enter a warzone to get away from this crazy bitch and her shit. I had a chick stalk me after a deployment from my old post at Knox to Gordon, make it on base and into my barracks roommate is awesome and left the bolt on the door in the locked position but so you could just enter without a key and hid under my bed waiting for me to return. I sat on my bed to read some mail when my phone rang and the shitty phone that it was I dropped it and the back panel bounced under my bed.

I saw the back of someones body when I reached under so I quick answered the phone to make it seem like I didn't notice and went to the bathroom. I locked the door and turned the shower on and panicked I said oh my god prob 20 times in a row. I tried to dial four times but my panic in combo with fat fingers kept fucking everything up. Get a hold of finally and tell them whats up and mp's in what seemed like forever slam the barracks door open and all I can hear over the shower is "HOLY FUCK" and a now large amount of noise, crashing and the sound of my barracks getting destroyed with the occasional scream, inaudible yell of something or grunting.

Turns out she was waiting in in the middle of my room with a bat and they spooked her and a fight commenced. My room was torn everywhere, MP said she just would not give up and they beat the shit out of her on my belongings to get her to give up. Like WWF suplexed her into my wall locker till it was busted open on the sides and I had very large amounts of the walls all over the floor. I dumped her right before I got on the plane through text and in a huge screw up on my part told her everything that was the reason for me dumping her.

You just got me to look through my phone for a recruiters number.


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  6. I want to go back now, just because I know I'll never see or here shit this outlandish and true ever again. OP when your friend grabbed your phone that was off for 96hours I thought you guys were gonna fake a story that you got adducted by aliens to mess with crazy Becky. Seriously as a corpsman, when people ask me why I love what I do, I tell them it's because I get to hang out with fucking Marines and listen to this shit.

    Maybe its North Carolina girls. Ive have never met any crazier chicks than my time there. My story isn't as crazy, but I did have a girl scale two floors of balconies and attempt to claw her way through my sliding glass doors with her fingers. The whole time she sobbed and called my name over and over, asking if I was actually there or not. There are only two types of people in Fayetteville: I was at bragg and dated a crazy chick with a mustang. She was fucking hot though so I didn't mind the crazy..

    This girl was outstandingly hot I don't think I've ever met a girl who drives a Mustang that doesn't have serious issues. You never see the first one coming, do ya? I had a near-miss like this in 'Nam. This waitress at the NCO club took a shine to me, and after I rotated home she found out my address and started writing me these long, flowery letters.