Awkward dating site pictures

Grain of salt, people. But boy oh boy, have your photos made my day on more than a number of occasions. So for any guys out there getting Matched, EHarmonized, Fished a Plenty, struck with an OK arrow from Cupid, Mingling with Christians and more right now, I invite you to put down your weights, take off those sunglasses, and enjoy this post.

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Often with wardrobe changes. Oh men, I know that the bathroom is probably the home to the largest mirror in your house, so I get why the bathroom selfies would theoretically be a good idea. And where do first impressions take place in real life? Definitely not in your bathroom. So step away from the shower, hand your friend a camera, and let us see you in your best non-bathroom light. And if sports or working out are big parts of your life, then awesome — post that classic photo of you and your buds crawling through the mud to the finish line or playing volleyball or biking in that triathlon.

But the sweaty guy pics and your bench press number can, um, stay at the gym.

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Ok, we totally get that you often wear sunglasses or hats when you are outside. Cheers to hipster apparel and protecting your skin and eyes from those harmful UV rays, right? But when it comes to posting photos online, just nix them both. Because the eyes are the window to the soul right?

And swam on the beach! And scaled an iceberg in Alaska!

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And hiked Machu Pichu! And worked with the Peace Corps in Africa! Ok, ok, maybe post one or two for travel cred. Then we can snuggle up and you can tell travel stories for hours.

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Way more fun, right? Ok, I know, rhetorical question.

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We just want to know that you have some wheels to drive us to dinner. Double points if Photoshop was used to blur or blacken the ex out. Triple points if you crop out girls on either side of you.

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So the solution to this one is easy — just find some other great photos to post! Trust us, anything will be better than the awkward unidentifiable blonde hair on your shoulder. So why it seems reasonable for you to throw half-naked photos all over your profile is a wee bit perplexing, to say the least. Keep it classy, San Diego. Bloody dead animals that you shot and killed and hold up as a trophy for the world to know that you know how to hunt?

And I know that many of you No-Shave-November fans are in it for a good cause. Not worth the risk.

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